Love, Passion, Orgasms - Sexual Practices

Spring is officially here. The daffodils are peeking up. The sun is reclaiming its evening hours. According to legend, you should be able to stand on an egg at the moment of the spring equinox. You can stop by at a nursery or visit a friend with a green thumb to get a fresh pot of flowers. If lemons are easily accessible to you, you can easily make lemon juice and share it with your neighbors. This is the joy of spring! Birds establish it’s nesting territory by singing repeatedly, announcing its presence to competitors and potential female/male alike, and by vigorously chasing intruders away. Eventually, the female/male establishes a peaceful coexistence with neighboring birds and its own species. The mating season begins!

Birds do it, bees do it
Even educated fleas do it
Let’s do it, let’s fall in love

Let the courtship scene begin in mankind too! But, wait, what if a child suddenly asks you to describe what “sex” means to him or her, how would you respond? Embarrassed? Ignorant? Dumbfounded? Or..? It is easy for the birds, bees and fleas to do it. Likewise, it is also easy for mankind to do it too, but we, especially the adults simply cannot simply ignore the child’s question when she or he brings it up. Ignorant can be malicious. So what is the best way to introduce kids and teens about “Sex”? Education, I suppose.

In Malaysia, I believe that the ministry of education has not implemented sex education in the education system, yet. I did some probing here and there and all I found was nothing but an article written on April 11th 2005 by The Star stating that sex education will be forwarded to the cabinet for approval and could be taught within 2 years.

Again, I am unable to find any statistics about teenage pregnancies in Malaysia. Maybe I am tracing the statistics from the wrong angle. Nonetheless, I am unsure whether I should be thankful or disturbed by the fact that there is not much effort to create statistics about teenage pregnancy.

I supposed if it is challenging to impose “Sex” education classes in primary or high school level, efforts could be instituted in a graduate course about “Adolescent Sexuality” or “Towards Safer Sex Society” or along those lines. Research states that Netherlands youths exhibit the most liberal attitudes towards sexuality and sexual behavior. Most of the youth first intercourse is at the age or 17. Followed by youths in Germany and France, whom experienced their first sex experiences at the age of 16. I wonder would a Malaysia youth exhibit the same result – Having sex at the age of 16 or 17?

All young people easily recognize, and just as easily dismiss, paternalistic and condescending approaches. Young people need to feel that they are respected as thinking, competent human beings, primarily because, young people believe that they are capable of making educated decisions about their sexual health of their own volition. However, this comes at a price – educated decisions cannot be made on the basis of false information. Accurate, honest facts are necessary, by definition, for responsible, educated decision making.

In today’s environment, where everyone we go, are saturated with sex, youth today are bombarded with mixed messages – we are to be sexy and cool, and at the same time healthy and abstinent. A parent’s proposal for sexual abstinence, based on the infamous “because I said so”, will not work against hundreds of contradictory messages from multiple sources (media).

I am not saying lets burn our television or magazines or let’s promote sex parties by giving free condoms. I believe the best weapon is information - Accurate, comprehensive information to empower youths to make rational decision. Slogans like “Just Say No” won’t work without communicating equal portion of information to the youths. While it is easy to see youth as once large group, many times, individuals are again individuals made out of individuals with situations and characters. Simply speaking, individual youths just want to be uniquely distinct from others of the same kind.

I find that the ABC approach that is being use in Uganda could work in Malaysia, if the Ministry of Education ever implemented “Sex Education” it here. I like this approach because it is not judgmental. Applied properly, it results a win-win situation for all parties. This approach not only respects the decision making abilities of young people but also promotes safe sex. However, it can only work if the government is consistent in promoting this approach – Abstinence, Be Faithful and use Condoms.

Couch potatoes might say that the ABC approach has been implemented and was unsuccessful. I argue it’s not true, because the campaign probably did not consistently advocate this approach properly. Honest, comprehensive sex education has not beenMalaysia, or elsewhere. Let’s push for this to happen.