This Thursday was another visit to the gyanecologist. Doctor Sakakibara. No inspection this time. Last month's visit was with a different gynae but I am sure after reading the written notes, Dr. Sakakibara knew what was going on. The previous gynae told me to mate during the very few but precious days of ovulation. Yet, we failed because my dear husband was just too tired.
By observing my husband's weekly schedule, he had the time to sleep earlier because he worked morning shifts. However, he did not make the effort to take care of his physical health properly by sleeping late. Therefore, with a tired soul how could one possible mate? It would be unjust to inform him last minute so I informed him a month ago. So you tell me, how could I not be disappointed with an uttering ignorant husband?
I had to share my discontentment with Dr.Sakakibara. He was not pleased after my explanation. He stressed that it won't mean anything if only one partner is trying while the other slacks off. I told him don't put the blame on me. With this said, he told me to bring my husband with me for the next appointment.
He also suggested rather than delaying the process, it is better to look into In Vitro Fertilization(IVF). Briefly, the cost is 3000usd. You will get 50% refund back.Without further elucidation, we decided that before making any decision, first we need to have a heart-to-heart chat between the three of us, including my husband.
Honestly, I do not know much of IVF. Simply said, IVF is mating through test-tube. After researching this topic, I found out that this topic has been a subject of moral controversy. Firstly, let me explain to myself and to you about what IVF is. In Vitro Fertilization is also called test-tube conception, a medical procedure in which mature egg cells are removed from a woman to fertilize with male sperm outside the body. Then reinserted back into the uterus of the same or another woman for normal gestation. By just reading at the explanation, I see that nothing is wrong and why should it be a controversial issue? Little did I know this is a hot-button issue.
Here are the advantages and disadvantages:
Helping Infertile Couples
IVF according to many infertility experts are recommended when there is no longer an option. IVF is also another step that would make infertile patient less depressing by giving them a few percent of ultimate hope.In short, IVF is the only way to allow infertile couples to have their own children.
Preventing Birth Defects
Another scientific argument is that by studying fertilization and early embryonic development outside the womb, scientists might learn more about how to prevent certain birth defects.
Creating Sick or Malformed Babies
For IVF adversaries, there are a number of reasons not to support IVF. The chief reason is no one knew if science would actually work perfectly. There is no warranty that IVF will guarantee a healthy baby. Yes, there are plentiful of successful cases and we praised science and technology! Nevertheless, there are also failed cases where deformed babies rife with terminal illnesses are born. Some couples plan for abortions or blame the doctors. Some decided to go on and give birth to the sick babies. According to many research, IVF babies are prone to holes in their hearts, development of only one kidney, brain abnormalities, risk of cancer and the list goes on. This when the adversaries question the morale values of IVF.
Destroying Social Structures
Accompanying the concern that IVF would not work were fears that it might work too well. Another group of critics warned that it would lead to the end of nuclear family, where sexual intercourse and couple bonding is replaced with laboratory breeding. Conservatives feared the creation of non-traditional families. Feminists worry that with new technology which is supposed to help women are actually pressurizing women.
Religious Views
Another opposition comes from the religious groups often referring to bibles and the words of Gods. Basically, religious groups and leaders, like Pope(s) are condemning the use of technology by scientists, arguing that "Working against nature and taking Lord's work into their own hands" just won't be fruitful and godly.
I have mixed feelings after reading all the articles about IVF. I have heard of the term "Frankenbabies" before but did not know that it relate to test-tube babies. This term is refer to the first few tes-tube babies, Louise Brown and Elizabeth Carr. There were fears of "Frakenbabies" at first but began to disappear. Subsequently, test-tube babies were not shunned, and far from destroying the traditional family. Then again, there are so many women who abort their babies after finding out that their babies will suffer from certain illness.(You could just google about IVF and abortion and depending on the country, the abortion rates are pretty high)
In the words of biologist Lee Silver, "Here's a technology (IVF) which is almost always used to allow a married man and woman to have a child, to form family...So IVD facilitates a very, very traditional outcome, which is mother and a father and children."
In another words of author Robin Marantz Henig,"How people get used to all sorts of new technology...at first it seems like it is abhorrent and it is something that we should not do. And then for a while it seems kind of miraculous...And then after a while, the technology just become part of the fabric of daily life."
I could not help but only nod my head and agree heartily with Brooke Shields words, "The difficulty of IVF or of any fertility issues is the hope and the shattered hope, the dream that it might happen this time and then it doesn't happen.
I will update more on this discussion when all three of us have a heart-to-heart talk.
By observing my husband's weekly schedule, he had the time to sleep earlier because he worked morning shifts. However, he did not make the effort to take care of his physical health properly by sleeping late. Therefore, with a tired soul how could one possible mate? It would be unjust to inform him last minute so I informed him a month ago. So you tell me, how could I not be disappointed with an uttering ignorant husband?
I had to share my discontentment with Dr.Sakakibara. He was not pleased after my explanation. He stressed that it won't mean anything if only one partner is trying while the other slacks off. I told him don't put the blame on me. With this said, he told me to bring my husband with me for the next appointment.
He also suggested rather than delaying the process, it is better to look into In Vitro Fertilization(IVF). Briefly, the cost is 3000usd. You will get 50% refund back.Without further elucidation, we decided that before making any decision, first we need to have a heart-to-heart chat between the three of us, including my husband.
Honestly, I do not know much of IVF. Simply said, IVF is mating through test-tube. After researching this topic, I found out that this topic has been a subject of moral controversy. Firstly, let me explain to myself and to you about what IVF is. In Vitro Fertilization is also called test-tube conception, a medical procedure in which mature egg cells are removed from a woman to fertilize with male sperm outside the body. Then reinserted back into the uterus of the same or another woman for normal gestation. By just reading at the explanation, I see that nothing is wrong and why should it be a controversial issue? Little did I know this is a hot-button issue.
Here are the advantages and disadvantages:
Helping Infertile Couples
IVF according to many infertility experts are recommended when there is no longer an option. IVF is also another step that would make infertile patient less depressing by giving them a few percent of ultimate hope.In short, IVF is the only way to allow infertile couples to have their own children.
Preventing Birth Defects
Another scientific argument is that by studying fertilization and early embryonic development outside the womb, scientists might learn more about how to prevent certain birth defects.
Creating Sick or Malformed Babies
For IVF adversaries, there are a number of reasons not to support IVF. The chief reason is no one knew if science would actually work perfectly. There is no warranty that IVF will guarantee a healthy baby. Yes, there are plentiful of successful cases and we praised science and technology! Nevertheless, there are also failed cases where deformed babies rife with terminal illnesses are born. Some couples plan for abortions or blame the doctors. Some decided to go on and give birth to the sick babies. According to many research, IVF babies are prone to holes in their hearts, development of only one kidney, brain abnormalities, risk of cancer and the list goes on. This when the adversaries question the morale values of IVF.
Destroying Social Structures
Accompanying the concern that IVF would not work were fears that it might work too well. Another group of critics warned that it would lead to the end of nuclear family, where sexual intercourse and couple bonding is replaced with laboratory breeding. Conservatives feared the creation of non-traditional families. Feminists worry that with new technology which is supposed to help women are actually pressurizing women.
Religious Views
Another opposition comes from the religious groups often referring to bibles and the words of Gods. Basically, religious groups and leaders, like Pope(s) are condemning the use of technology by scientists, arguing that "Working against nature and taking Lord's work into their own hands" just won't be fruitful and godly.
I have mixed feelings after reading all the articles about IVF. I have heard of the term "Frankenbabies" before but did not know that it relate to test-tube babies. This term is refer to the first few tes-tube babies, Louise Brown and Elizabeth Carr. There were fears of "Frakenbabies" at first but began to disappear. Subsequently, test-tube babies were not shunned, and far from destroying the traditional family. Then again, there are so many women who abort their babies after finding out that their babies will suffer from certain illness.(You could just google about IVF and abortion and depending on the country, the abortion rates are pretty high)
In the words of biologist Lee Silver, "Here's a technology (IVF) which is almost always used to allow a married man and woman to have a child, to form family...So IVD facilitates a very, very traditional outcome, which is mother and a father and children."
In another words of author Robin Marantz Henig,"How people get used to all sorts of new technology...at first it seems like it is abhorrent and it is something that we should not do. And then for a while it seems kind of miraculous...And then after a while, the technology just become part of the fabric of daily life."
I could not help but only nod my head and agree heartily with Brooke Shields words, "The difficulty of IVF or of any fertility issues is the hope and the shattered hope, the dream that it might happen this time and then it doesn't happen.
I will update more on this discussion when all three of us have a heart-to-heart talk.
1 comment:
Very interesting post. I knew the basics about IVF, but was not aware of the controversy surrounding the decision whether or not to have this procedure.
I hope that the talk with the doctor among the three of you can help persuade the husband to take good care of himself so that he has the energy to do his part. And hopefully the talk will make him more excited about having children in general.
In my opinion, I do not have a problem with IVF. Although I have not tried to have children, I know people who struggled for years and years trying to get pregnant. It is heartbreaking and stressful for the hopeful parents. One couple I know tried IVF a few times I believe, and it is so expensive. They didn't work. however, once they stopped pushing to get pregnant, she got pregnant through no medical intervention and had two successful pregnancies. So it's strange thing, pregnancy. What works for one may not work for another.
In my opinion, I don't think there is anything wrong with taking cells from both the husband and wife and using science to help them out. And though I do not ignore the fact that there may be certain health risks for the baby using this (or any fertility method), what about all of the potential risks of pregnancies that happen through natural course of nature? Even traditional pregnancies can have problems so I do not think "science" is solely to blame.
The ability to get pregnant and have a baby is astounding, when you think about it. Things have to be in the right place at the right time and develop in the right way in order for it to happen. As long as decisions are made after careful thought (and if you pray, prayer) then I think it's the right choice for the person.
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